2000AD and Starlord Prog 95: Burn them – burn the robot rebels!

Mike Dorey provides his first cover for Ro-Busters (apparently he also did the uncredited cover for Prog 6 – John Probe against Nazi skeletons underwater).

The Nerve Centre has letters about the 2000AD and Starlord merge – from those who like 2000AD and not Starlord, those who like Starlord and not 2000AD and those who like 2000AD and Starlord. Andrew Saunders is awarded the £10 prize for a picture of Starlord wearing the rosette of sirius and Tharg’s jumpsuit. Or possibly Tharg wearing Starlord’s boufant, robe and carrying his gun. Is this the first ‘Tharg the…’ reader’s picture?

John Howard, Brian Bolland and Gary Leach are back on The Day the Law Died, with lettering by ‘Thomas’ – Tom Frame has previously been ‘Tomas Frame’ so he seems to like playing with his name when crediting himself! The executions begin but Dredd has a plan. ‘Recruiting’ Slocum, Cal is told that Deputy Chief Judge Fish died at the time of the first execution. The death sentence is suspended and following an unattended funeral parade, Cal promises to make the city suffer like never before. There’s not much I can say about this episode, except how pitch-perfect it is – I’m not sure how the art duties were divided up (I’m guessing Bolland did pencils while Leach the inks) but they perfectly capture John Wagner’s script. Plus Tom Frame puts in a irregularly shaped speech bubble to surround the over-sized final word of the episode – “SUFFER!”.

Ro-Jaws and Ginger leave the Robo-Prison, much less obedient than when they went in. The pair head for the Robo-exchange (a satire on the precursors to Job Centres – the Labour Exchange and Employment Exchange) but before they can arrive a clumsy human knocks into Ginger but they’re rescued by a disguised robot called George Washington. As with Hammerstein’s memoirs, the Ro-busters are mentioned as a fearsome fate for any robot before Ginger is taken on by a removal firm. Ro-Jaws becomes a grave-digger until he bumps into Washington again, this time robbing a bank for the Robot Resistance. The bank robbers are cornered by a couple of squads of RIP troops but are rescued by Ro-Jaws, who takes them underground (literally, into the sewers).

As I thought, Flesh Book II is dominated by Big Hungry being attacked by multiple giant scorpions as the Saucy Sailor approaches. Gunner Ben’s arachnophobia (well, scorpions are a type of arachnid) gets the better of him and he lets off a torpedo at close range – too close. Carver orders their accompanying trawler to release the half-fillled net, trapping Big Hungry and the scorpions while the Saucy Sailor continues to Big Hungry’s island. Peters suggests they hang around to make sure Big Hungry does die, and is of course correct as he soon escapes as Carver’s men search for the gold. Isaac Hans makes the discovery and is killed by Carver for his trouble. Peters witnesses the murder but as the two tussle, neither notices Big Hungry arrive home. It’s all pretty straight-forward but none the poorer for it. It’s not like there has to be a shock ending to this story. Speaking of which…

Tharg’s Future-Shocks: Brain Drain by Steve Moore and Ron Tiner brings us black-garbed men (men in black) associated with a flying saucer. We’ve had similar appearances already in various 2000AD/Starlord stories, but this is the closest we’ve had to the traditional MiBs. A top scientist is brainwashed and taken aboard an alien spacecraft (with a traditional huge viewport showing the Earth in the centre) to join the crew. He isn’t there for one of the glamourous jobs though – his brain is transplanted into a robotic body and he’s given a mop and bucket, for he is the new janitor. If I went through Ian Gibon’s episodes of the Robot Wars and Verdus, I wouldn’t be surprised to find something like Arnold’s cyber-body in those pages.

So, most of the stories since the merger have been great, with Future-Shocks varying between good and middling. The next thrill is Angel, which drags us back down to the level of Death Planet and the less-inspiring episodes of MACH One. The Albion British Comic wiki says this is a strong contender for stupidest strip ever to run in 2000AD, but unfortunately doesn’t give references, so is probably just the opinion of the editor (though it’s hard to dispute the opinion). It is set in the far-flung year of 1983 – remember it was published in 1978. I can’t find a reference but I think this was languishing in a drawer for almost two years due to be commissioned before the first prog was published – though maybe that’s just The Visible Man. The premise is that the onboard computer of the jet is melded to the arm of the pilot in a crash (maybe it wasn’t commissioned earlier – it’s too much like MACH One) basically giving Angel extra-sensory perception when it comes to all things mechanical (also, increased co-ordination, reflexes, msucular control – as per compu-puncture). Strontium Dog’s appearances in Starlord were always patchy, but to say that Angel is a disappointing replacement is an understatement.

Over the page Walt Wemembers MACH 1 punching through a wall and we also get Artie Gruber leaving a Mega-City hospital – so it’s all about the cyborgs this prog! Readers art features a robo-teacher which looks like it could have been traced from an Ian Gibson drawing (I looked through the episodes of Robo-Hunter that had been published and couldn’t spot it – so it appears it’s just a very successful synthesis of Gibson’s robo-stylings).

The back page is a star pin-up of Judge Dredd by Mike McMahon. I’m not a huge fan of McMahon’s Dredd at this point, though the Mega-City backdrop makes good scenery.

Grailpage: the opening page to Judge Dredd has it all – a pic of Cal shouting, Kleggs, Judges Percy and Glass in their ‘uniforms’ and even the first appearance of Aaron A. Aardvark neé Erik Plunket.

Grailquote: John Howard, Chief Judge Cal: “Remind me to have a check-up after this, Slocum. I know there must be huge crowds but my eyes can’t seem to focus on them.” SJS Judge Slocum: “I’m afraid there aren’t any crowds, Chief Judge. Th-the streets are deserted!”